


We Are Both to Blame

by TheSparklingK



Category: Fallen - Lauren Kate, The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fantasy, Friendship, Gen, Multi, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9282953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSparklingK/pseuds/TheSparklingK
Summary: Elena became a vampire in the Lockwood Masquerade Ball. Stefan and Elena break-up once Elena chooses Damon over Stefan. Stefan has a new girl in his life, and Elena is confused about her feelings. Starting with Elena's POV, more as the story progresses.This is a revamping of an old fic that needs work - please read the note in the beginning of the first chapter, it's important so you can understand the story. Thanks :)





	1. Stefan's Changes

**First of all, an important note. PLEASE READ THIS, IT REALLY IS IMPORTANT.**

**This fic was first published in December 2010 on fanfiction.net, and I reread it recently and decided to revamp it some, not being very pleased with the original.**

**As such, it's set in the middle of season two, meaning most of what's happened since then hadn't happened when it was written. This is important, because in my revamping, I won't be changing the story, only grammatical errors or words that I feel were repeated too often or useless plots and scenes. So it's still set in Vampire Diaries mid-season two. Bear that in mind as you read. :)**

**Included next is a note from the original fic that says what I want to - with some present day additions I should have thought of then...**

**This fic is set after Elena goes to see Katherine in the crypt (s02e09) to ask her about the connections between the Curse and the doppelgangers, and hear her stories of Klaus and Elijah. You should probably bypass episodes 8, 10 and 11 - plus all the rest of them but at that time we were still on 11 ;) - because here, Elena turned into a vampire at the Masquerade Ball, having been fed blood by Damon and later killed by Katherine before she got caught and thrown in the crypt, tomb, whatever. Elena then breaks up with Stefan to be with Damon, who helps her through her transformation while Stefan is busy dealing with fall out from other accidents. Stefan leaves town, and comes back with a new girlfriend who has her very own share of baggage. Also, since episode 8, where Elena is kidnapped by Rose, didn't happen, we're going to pretend - so we can have Rose in this fic - that she tries to kidnap baby-vamp Elena, enraging both the Salvatores, and therefore inserting herself into the story. :)**

**Hope that's not too confusing, and that you can still enjoy this story even though it's very, very old - six years old in fact - because I still love it, even if I see lots of room for improvement.**

**Thanks for reading this spiel, and if you care to, let me know what you think! :)**

...

“Damon?” I called, as I walked into the boardinghouse, realizing right away that Damon wasn't there, thanks to another one of my new-found vampire senses. “Stefan?”

I knew Stefan was home, because I could smell him in the air...and something else mixed with it. Someone else.

Then, I heard the sounds coming from upstairs, and focused on them, to make sense of what was happening.

I had broken up with Stefan nearly a week ago, but...from the sounds I could hear coming from his room...he had a girl in?

I finally decided, after hearing a lot of grunting from upstairs, from Stefan's part only, to make sure he wasn't fighting someone.

I pushed open the door to his room shamelessly, without a knock or a warning, thinking I'd see him struggling with someone and needing help.

What I saw was decidedly different; Stefan was holding a girl, pushing her against the wall, kissing her neck, her legs were wrapped around his waist, the two of them moving steadily on to sex.

Her eyes were closed; she opened them, and saw me, then tapped Stefan's shoulder lightly, nodding in my direction.

Stefan turned to look at me, his eyes flashing in anger.

I expected them to soften once he recognized me, but when they didn't, I reminded myself I had broken his heart, then rubbed it in by having sex with Damon when he was at home.

Still, I thought we had made it right before he left to wherever he went.

He was moving closer, and when he came face to face with me, I couldn't help but smile at him.

He didn't look angry, and I thought that was a good sign, until he spoke.

"Give me my ring back," Stefan said coldly, his eyes burning into mine, a look he had never given me.

"But...without it, I can't go out in the sun," I said, looking up at him, clutching the ring to my finger and pleading with my eyes. "Bonnie hasn't managed to make me a new one yet..."

"Whatever," he said after a moment, shrugging as if he didn't care about anything I had just told him. “Why should I care what happens to you? It's Damon's problem now.”

"But, Stefan..." Before I could finish, he interrupted me, moving closer in a way that scared me.

"Give it to me, Elena. It's mine, and I want it back," Stefan said fiercely, eyes flashing. “Now.”

I swallowed my tears at his tone, pulling off the ring and placing it in his palm as I looked behind him, at the girl still leaning against the wall, to distract myself so I wouldn't cry.

"Are you sure _she's_ not going to find this a bit weird?" I examined her more as I said this; her shirt, a plaid shirt that I _knew_ belonged to Stefan, was halfway open, enough that I could see her bra.

She had long blond hair that reached halfway to her waist, spilling over her shoulder, messy enough to be what Caroline called 'make-out session hair', which turned into 'just-fucked hair' when she was feeling crass.

"No, she won't mind this. She knows about me,” Stefan said, interrupting my study of the girl.

He was looking at me as if I was stupid for asking such an obvious question, like I should have known better than to think he'd be so careless as to expose himself to someone he couldn't compel.

She looked apologetically at me as Stefan turned away, and I hated the pity in her eyes.

_It made me hate her, made me feel disgusted with myself, for the way I treated Stefan._

_It made me want to have him back, made me want to apologize, beg him to come back to me._

_But of course I didn't because do that, because...I have Damon. And because he was the one who protected me from Katherine when Stefan wasn't paying attention. He was too busy helping Caroline, he said._

_Taking Bonnie to the hospital to make sure she was okay, helping Caroline with Tyler's werewolf issue, trying to locate Klaus...meanwhile, I was turning into a vampire on the Lockwood Masquerade Ball, because Katherine had attempted to kill me._

_Damon was the one who gave me blood to save me, even though it should have been Stefan._

_He wasn't there, when I wound up a vampire because it was too late to save me, to keep me human._

_And now...I'm so, so scared for the people I love._

_I'm scared for Damon, who Klaus will hunt forever like he did to Katherine...because he turned me into a vampire._

_I just wish...I just wish I could make another doppelganger. But I can't. Because...I'm a vampire, and Isobel is a vampire and there is just...no one else._

_And we're all going to die for this...this stupid sacrifice. I'll die because of what I am, Damon will die for what he did, and Bonnie, Caroline, Tyler...will die for nothing._

_And all I can think about is how I wish Stefan would hold me to make it all go away._

_~~I hope Damon never finds out I feel like this.~~ _

...

I opened my eyes to find the sunlight streaming into the room, coming in through the sliver between the curtains, and Damon asleep next to me.

I smiled, and reached out to touch his shoulder, before moving closer to kiss his skin, closing my eyes as I breathed the smell of him, so comforting after the sadness of last night.

He stirred and turned to face me, smiling sleepily even as he hugged me around the waist. “Morning.”

"Morning," I replied, wrapping my arm around his shoulders, leaning in so I could kiss him.

I felt a stab of pain on my arm and flinched away, clutching it as it burned from the sunlight, remembering that I'd returned Stefan's ring to him last night.

Damon sat up, leaning on his elbows and studying me more intensely, through narrowed eyes.

“Where's your ring?” He asked me.

“Stefan's ring,” I corrected. “I gave it back to him last night. I completely forgot...”

I stood up, realizing I had also forgotten where I had left my diary, with my incriminating sadness spilled across its pages.

"Elena,” Damon said, concerned as I started frantically shaking the sheets. "Elena, what are you doing?"

“My diary...” I whispered, looking under the bed, then coming up to shake the sheets again. “I don't know where it is. I had it last night, I was writing in it when I fell asleep, and now...I need to find it..."

I ran to the other side of the room, trying to go through every single place I could think of; next to the fireplace, under the bedside table...

"Elena," Damon called, but I was too desperate to keep my thoughts secret to spare him even a second.

"What?" I answered distractedly, still flying around the room. I closed the curtains to avoid the sun, and kept on looking.

"Elena, stop," he said. I didn't even answer him. Where was it? "Elena, your diary is here."

I finally stopped and looked up, letting out a breathless, relieved little laugh. I flew to Damon and wrapped my arms around him, grabbing my diary and clutching it tightly to myself, burying my face in his chest.

Finally I pulled away to look at him, and was happy to see him smiling, knowing he didn't suspect of my desperation to find my diary.

"I have to go, get you a ring. I'll talk to Bonnie again today, see if I can convince her,” Damon said, already moving to the door and stroking my cheek when he passed me, leaving me with a kiss.

I sighed once he was gone, relieved to have found my diary and to have a moment to myself.

I sat back down on Damon's bed, to read over my words from last night.

...

_Dear Diary... today I caught Stefan with a girl in his room. And...he asked me for his ring back._

_When I broke up with him, told him that I loved Damon, I had tried to give it to him, but he looked so upset, and I wanted to prove to myself that I didn't want him anymore._

_Now I'm not so sure. I just came out of his bedroom. I'm sitting in Damon's bed and crying because I miss Stefan._

_His arms around me, the way he used to look at me, like I was the only girl in the room._

_But the way he looked at me today, talking to me like I was stupid and giving me that glare, so angry...and the apologetic look on the girl's face when she looked at me..._

_It made me hate her, made me feel disgusted with myself, for the way I treated Stefan._

_It made me want to have him back, made me want to apologize, beg him to come back to me._

_But of course I didn't because do that, because...I have Damon. And because he was the one who protected me from Katherine when Stefan wasn't paying attention. He was too busy helping Caroline, he said._

_Taking Bonnie to the hospital to make sure she was okay, helping Caroline with Tyler's werewolf issue, trying to locate Klaus...meanwhile, I was turning into a vampire on the Lockwood Masquerade Ball, because Katherine had attempted to kill me._

_Damon was the one who gave me blood to save me, even though it should have been Stefan._

_He wasn't there, when I wound up a vampire because it was too late to save me, to keep me human._

_And now...I'm so, so scared for the people I love._

_I'm scared for Damon, who Klaus will hunt forever like he did to Katherine...because he turned me into a vampire._

_I just wish...I just wish I could make another doppelganger. But I can't. Because...I'm a vampire, and Isobel is a vampire and there is just...no one else._

_And we're all going to die for this...this stupid sacrifice. I'll die because of what I am, Damon will die for what he did, and Bonnie, Caroline, Tyler...will die for nothing._

_And all I can think about is how I wish Stefan would hold me to make it all go away._

_~~I hope Damon never finds out I feel like this.~~ _

...

I closed my diary as I felt the tears start to roll down my face, throwing it as hard as I could against the wall across the room.

As it fell next to the fireplace, I started to cry, feeling it all again, all the ugly sadness from last night, the jealousy I felt seeing Stefan with someone else, the guilt for how I treated him, added to how wrong it was for me to feel this way when I had Damon...

I let myself cry until I felt numb, until I couldn't cry anymore, until most of the sadness was gone, and then I got up and walked to the bathroom, looking at my face in the mirror above the sink.

I looked worn out, like I had a bad night of sleep, and my nose was all red from the crying.

I locked the door behind me and went into the shower, hoping to forget that I'd ever written down those traitorous words.

**…**


	2. Arriane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Damon and Elena meet Stefan's new friend Arriane, and Elena feels things she believes she shouldn't. Elena POV.

I walked out of Damon's room, anxious for him to come home so we could go out.

It was nighttime, and after spending the afternoon indoors trapped by my ringlessness, I was so restless I wanted to run on the ceiling. Then I heard voices downstairs. Laughter.

I came to the top of the stairs and looked down. I saw Stefan and the girl from last night, sitting next to each other, just laughing.

Damon walked in just then, stopping in the doorway when he saw them.

"Hi, Damon," Stefan said, trying not to laugh. The girl giggled and stood up, moving up to Damon, Stefan following.

“Hi,” she said, holding out her hand to him with a grin. “I'm Arriane. It's nice to meet you, Damon. I've heard _a lot_ about you.”

Damon took her hand, smiling, looking a little puzzled. He glanced at me, then kissed her hand, lingering, as he had done to me the first time we met.

I wanted to make him stop, tell him not to provoke Stefan, but Stefan looked completely unruffled, like he didn't mind, like it didn't bother him at all.

"It's nice to meet you," Damon said at last, releasing her hand, flashing her his trademark seductive smile.

His eyes flickered to Stefan, studying him. I prayed he wouldn't complain about the ring. He had no right to ask him for it, and neither did I.

"Anyway, I'm going out with Elena," he said, watching Stefan's face even more carefully for a reaction.

"Okay," was all Stefan said, already pulling Arriane back to the couch with him, evidently distracted.

"Um...okay," Damon said, looking puzzled again, watching as Arriane sat on Stefan's lap, laughing at something he whispered in her ear.

Damon looked up, catching my eye, and motioned for me to come downstairs, silently.

I watched Stefan and Arriane wearily, before looking back at Damon.

I really didn't want to cause a scene, even though they weren't looking at me. They were just looking at each other, silent and oblivious, distracted.

Damon followed my gaze, then nodded at me to reassure me that it was okay to be seen together. I had noticed the way Stefan seemed strangely normal and expressionless when Damon mentioned my name.

I walked down the stairs and into Damon's arms. He kissed me, and it made my body hum with his touch, all over, but still I looked over his shoulder at Stefan and Arriane, who were just holding each other, not doing anything at all.

Damon pulled away from me, taking my hand and leading me out the door, saying goodbye to Stefan and Arriane as we made our escape.

...

Damon and I walked into the Grill. Caroline was with Matt and Tyler having dinner, and Bonnie was playing pool with Jeremy, with Luka was watching them from a nearby table, looking jealous. I nudged Damon.

He followed my gaze to Luka and smirked, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I rolled my eyes, though I was happy for Bonnie, and thought Luka's jealousy was a little amusing.

Bonnie and Jeremy, Caroline and Matt back together...Tyler becoming friends with Caroline, who would help him with his problems...things were going right for them.

I told myself I should be happy, because even though Klaus would come for me, and probably Damon, since I was sure Rose – the vampire who had tried to kidnap me until she realized I was no use to her, no use to deliver to Elijah, who still scared me to think of – would tell him where she had found me, in a parking lot after feeding on an innocent girl in a mask, at least Stefan was safe from him, having had nothing to do with my transformation, or with me anymore for that matter.

I  wasn't sure why the thought upset me so much. Was I jealous of Arriane? Did I truly want Stefan back, or was I just reacting to the fact that he had already found a girl to replace me?

I looked at Damon, who was sitting across from me, ordering our food.

"Damon," I called, once the waiter was gone, and he looked up.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of that girl, Arriane?"

"I think it's a bit strange for Stefan to be in another relationship so quickly. I thought he would have to recover from you. But still...it's good that he's already moved on, and that he seems okay with it...with us."

"But don't you think we should worry, that he's moved on so quickly? Shouldn't we do something?”

“Do what, Elena?” He asked, like he was tired of the conversation.

“I don't know. Make sure this is really what's good for him.”

Damon shrugged. “Stefan's a big boy, he can take care of himself. And besides, I think he's happy with her. I don't see why you have a problem with that. Unless...”

“Unless what?” I asked, bitterly, wondering what he would say.

Damon looked up at me, pain in his eyes. Then, he put his poker face on and laughed.

“Nothing at all,” he said, then stood, pushing back his chair. “I need a drink. You can see yourself home; no need to come back to my bed tonight.”

He walked off, telling the waiter to scrap the order, replace it with a glass of whisky, settling down at the bar.

I stared at the empty spot where he had been, then got from my chair and out the back door into the alley, where I could cry unseen, and get some air.

I sat on a crate in the dark that I no longer had problems seeing in, digging my diary out of my bag.

I had to talk to someone. Bonnie was off-limits; since I had turned, she seemed scared of me; Caroline was too wrapped in her own problems; Damon hated me; Stefan clearly wanted nothing to do with me; my diary was all I had left.

So I uncapped my pen and started writing.

_Dear Diary, I don't know what to say. Tonight just went from perfectly fine to horrible in one fell swoop._

_It was probably my fault; things were going well – as well as they ever do – until I opened my big mouth about Stefan to Damon, and now he's off, drinking and shutting me out, though I admit this time maybe I deserved it._

_This all started with Stefan. Who seems completely moved on from what we had...not that that should bother me, since I broke up with him._

_He seems to be in some sort of relationship with the girl from last night. Her name is Arriane, and I saw them today, right before Damon and I left the house. He was laughing with her, and in a way he never did with me._

_The only person who ever made him laugh like that was Lexi. And that had taken centuries of friendship, so how could this random girl get so close to him so quickly?_

_I think...I think I'm jealous._

I pulled the pen away from the paper and stared at that last line in the paper. Was I really be jealous of Stefan just because he was happy, and enjoying himself, and because I didn't have him anymore?

Did I have the right to still want him, after what I had done to him? After what I had done to Damon, after what we had become?

I shouldn't feel like this. I should love Damon and only Damon. Because Stefan clearly didn't want me anymore.

_And I didn't want him_ , I thought fiercely, trying to convince myself of it as I tucked my diary away and prepared to go back inside.

...

Back inside, with my diary safely inside my bag, I started scanning the crowds for Damon.

I smiled when I finally saw him, playing pool. With Bonnie, Jeremy, Stefan and...Arriane.

My smiled faded, and I tried not to let the tears come to my eyes. I shouldn't be feeling this way just because she was there with my friends.

They were clearly enjoying themselves; Damon was licking his lips, looking pleased; Stefan had an arm around Arriane's waist, watching her as she aimed for her shot; Bonnie and Jeremy were cheering, clearly confident that she was going to win, and already at ease with her...

Arriane hit the white ball with her cue, and sent the red ball spinning into a hole, clapping her hands in delight when it fell in.

Stefan laughed, kissing her cheek and pulling her close as Damon prepared for his shot.

"Caroline!" Stefan shouted then, and Caroline looked up at him from her table and smiled, waving.

Then she ran over to play. Tyler and Matt followed her.

Soon, everyone was playing and laughing and they didn't notice me, standing there, watching them having fun without me.

I could see how they were playing now; Damon, Stefan and Caroline on one team, Matt, Tyler, Jeremy, Arriane and Bonnie in another.

Stefan was trying to convince Arriane to play on his team, whispering in her ear while she laughed, insisting the she needed to play with the humans so they could have a chance against the vamps.

Damon motioned to a waitress to bring shots. I sat down at the bar, and just watched, feeling numb.

They did the shots, all of them laughing, like a wild group of teenagers. Most of them really were what they seemed.

But Caroline, Damon and Stefan weren't and neither was I. We didn't belong here and yet, we were pretending that we did.

All of a sudden, I saw a golden light around the pool table. It was coming from Arriane, I realized a moment later.

She was in Stefan's arms, leaning against his chest. And there really was a golden light coming out of her.

The others didn't seem to see it. I watched for few more minutes, then stood up, because there was nothing more for me here.

I walked outside, deciding to go home. It wasn't doing me any good to stay.

I could still hear them as I made my way down the street to get a cab. They were laughing and there was some groaning from the losers, all good-natured grumbling.

Stefan's team was winning as I went into a cab and started crying. He was taking everything from me.

...


End file.
